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40 Times Women Tore Down The ‘Polite’ Wall And Asked Men What They’ve Been Too Afraid To Ask
Many attempts have been made to help men and women find common ground, with John Gray's book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite S*x being arguably the most popular and influential.
Still, some questions remain unanswered. So, Reddit user ThereW0LF invited all women on the platform to take advantage of the internet’s anonymity and ask men everything they wouldn't dare to in real life.
Inspired by the raw honesty that ignited the discussion, we present some of the most interesting exchanges that, we hope, will build bridges instead of walls.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Why do you so often interpret basic niceness as flirting?
LexGlad:
Most men receive so little daily kindness that any attention is considered out of the ordinary.
RELATED:
#2
What’s the longest y’all have went without watching p**n?
anonymous:
13 years from when I was born until I discovered the internet.
#3
Does an obvious physical flaw/imperfection on an otherwise conventionally attractive woman matter as much as we think it does to you?
Like say you think a girl is a 10/10, but then you notice a huge mole on her neck or she has crooked teeth or a scar on her face. Is she now a lower score or do you not care?
ezralv:
Often makes her more attractive. Beautiful women are already too hard to relate to. Have some imperfection is humanizing.
Power puff scientist 1 month ago
small imperfectioms often also adds some character somehow. i always love things like a scar.
#4
What do you actually think of a girl who asks you out first?
anonymous:
Love it.
#5
Does it annoy you, that women talk about your d**k size (in vivid detail) with all their friends after they sleep with you?
Electrical-Bother942:
Yes. It's not your right to share personal details about someone just because you slept with them.
#6
Why is marriage such a terrifying prospect for many men?
roadrunner440x6:
It's not terrifying in the least. I find it a silly pointless ritual with no added commitment and a huge waste of money. And then, when it's time to go your separate ways (which statistically is almost a certainty) it is an additional cost and inconvenience. All because society tells us 'that's the way it's supposed to be'? F**K THAT.
Save your money and put it towards a house, retirement, or vacationing.
#7
Why do you always nod at each other?
Commodore-K9:
I acknowledge that you are a complex organism living through your own struggles in a chaotic, hectic and unfair world and I mean you no trouble bro.
Electrical-Bother942:
Show of respect.
#8
When you sit down on a toilet, what happens to ur nuts? Do they rest on the toilet seat? lmao.
RoilToilBoil:
No they don’t rest on the seat. They just hang like fruits on a tree. Not sure how better to describe that.
#9
Men on the street - does sexually creeping on women you don't know ever work out for you? Seriously just why.
anonymous:
My buddy who is a complete horn-dog would always quote Gretzky, "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."
In reality, they have low self esteem and feel empowered by making women feel vulnerable by cat-calling. I don't even think most guys realize that is why they are doing it, but essentially they lack the adequate social skills to approach women in a polite manor and instead just try to dynamite fish. I have never met a single guy who cat-calls at women who looks at them as equals. It's about dominance and misogyny, usually stemming from a failed relationship that they never took the time to be introspective enough and failed at any attempts of empathy.
Michael Largey 1 month ago
"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." Yes, but remember "You're unhampered by 100% of the restraining orders you don't get."
#10
Why would you not wipe your a*s to its cleanest?
Why would you come away from a s**t, wipe, and see s**t covered toilet paper and think to yourself "meh. Good enough".
Does extended time in the bathroom make you uncomfortable?! I'm seriously confused.
Edit: I have learned much.
anonymous:
I'm going to assume that you're referring to skid marks found in underwear after a long day of wearing them, and not that you've encountered someone who literally left some chocolate on the rim after each bowel movement. For the latter, there is no excuse.
However, many men fall victim to the former on a far more regular basis than we'd like, myself included. When you have a hairy a**hole, many times you can wipe and wipe, and it'll even look clean on the paper when you finish up, but somehow there is still some residue left in the canopy of a** hair that will resurface post wipe. Especially on hotter days or during physical activities. Therefore, we try our best to schedule the [poops] pre-shower, or in an environment that is more conducive to cleanliness. Unfortunately when nature calls we aren't always afforded access to baby wipes or a shower to rinse out the foliage.
I hope this helps ease your mind and provides some clarification for you.
#11
Why is it not okay for your girlfriend to be friends with a boy who has a crush on her, but she doesn't like him romantically?
yetanotherweirdo:
Because you know that guy is going to be constantly trying or wanting to get into her pants, and sometimes the guy succeeds.
The guy may also try to undermine you as part of his goal. He is in short, your enemy.
Power puff scientist 1 month ago
also the guy she tells you not to worry about "because he's just a friend" is often still is the one she cheats with or dates with as soon as the couple breaks up.
#12
Do guys talk about the details of their s*x lives with other guys? Why or why not?
coldequation:
"A gentleman doesn't kiss and tell." Advice I got from my grandfather, and it extends to other activities, as well.
#13
Don't you need more hugs? Your friends don't hug you. Men don't hug each other at all. Shouldn't you hug each other? Don't you need hugs??
letsgo_boiiis:
Hugs, compliments, anything that seems totally normal for a girl to do makes a man feel like he is the most important man in the world. You don’t even have to like the person, I have a female friend and we both have stated we only ever want to be friends, but she just said, “oh my gosh you were so funny” back in middle school and I remember it. Any attention toward a guy is very much valued, it will make him feel so good, so I encourage you to compliment a guy friend of yours, or hug them, anything will make him feel a thousand times better about himself.
#14
Why do you look so intently when I'm wearing a skirt when you can see basically the same or more when I'm at the beach??
Vargasa871:
Its like seeing a lion in the wild, compared to seeing one at the zoo.
ynyrhydref56 1 month ago
Jerry Seinfeld did a bit on this. "We wanna see whatever you won't show us. If all women always wore hats, they'd be selling 'Play-head'."
#15
What is the actual sensation like of getting kicked in the balls? Does it really hurt that badly?
anonymous:
Yes, the reaction you normally see isn't exaggeration. It is incredibly painful. It starts as an immediate sharp pain then dulls into this persistent throbbing that is at first as fierce as the initial hit. But then it ebbs away in painful little pulses. And the worst part is you feel it in your stomach as well, and at times you may vomit.
The only sensation I can compare it to is stubbing your toe on a sharp steel corner running full speed and barefoot.
StrangeOne 1 month ago
I don't find it funny to see men being kicked in the groin, anymore. Not since I've matured and understand it's not really painless for women to be kicked in the c****h.
#16
I've always wondered if some guys feel expressively oppressed so they channel their individuality through ties, socks and their hair. Would a majority of guys want male skirts or dresses to be socially acceptable?Have you ever wanted to wear makeup? and do you get jealous of girls being able to wear basically anything to a formal occasion? Or are you happy with the tux??
xedralya:
One, if you think about it, we're all basically forbidden in formal settings from showing any skin. If you're a dude, you will have multiple layers of fabric covering your entire body from toes to wrists to neck. Snugly. There is a literal rope around your throat. It'd be nice to be able to wear anything else.
Two, you have no idea how p***ed-off we get that you're in a comfortable skirt or dress in the summertime, and we're in slacks and a tie. Who had the bright idea to require the gender that sweats more heavily to wear more clothing all of the time?
(Don't get me wrong - you feel pretty manly when you look good in a tux. Then you start to move around, and you wish it had tubes of ice water running through it because you're under four layers.)
#17
Do men really care if a women has no makeup on and has her hair in a ponytail? When I go out to run errands I really couldn't care less about how "girly" I look, more about how quick I can get done so I can go home and netflix binge. But sometimes I feel like I look like a pile of garbage just because I have a pair of jeans and a loose tshirt on.
Haboob_AZ:
I don't care if you don't wear makeup or do your hair. Natural beauty is just fine with me.
If you want to wear makeup for other events (dates, just wanting to look extra gorgeous) that's fine too.
Sometimes that IDGAF look can actually be pretty hot. Weird how it works.
Andrew Burke 1 month ago
a woman without makeup, and hair up in a pony-tail is way more beautiful than when all dolled up if you ask me.
#18
Does ball size matter to a guy in terms of his confidence? i understand that d**k size matters, but does ball size? What if he has a huge d**k and tiny balls? What if he has a tiny d**k and huge balls?
ThereW0LF:
If the balls are abnormally big it's time to see a doctor. Otherwise the size of the balls doesn't matter.
Tim Richards 1 month ago
D**k size only matters because society says it does. Ball size doesn't matter at all.
#19
Once and for all…does it bother you guys when we fart in front of you??
RabidusUnus:
We honestly don’t care, at all.
ImpossibleMindset:
It would make me very unhappy if someone I admired felt uncomfortable just being a living thing while around me.
#20
I read and hear a lot about how tough it is to be man in American society, but do you ever feel thankful, for any reason, to have been born a man? I don't mean concerning biological stuff -- like being happy not to have to deal with periods or child birth or chaffing under your b***s when you exercise. I mean in a larger societal context.
EDIT: I feel like I should have phrased the question differently. What I am asking for is, *why are you grateful for being a man?* I very much appreciate the issues of being a man in American society and am keen to discuss this topic in another venue, here I am curious as to what you are *glad* about. I know this is a tricky question to ask, and the phrasing of the question for the thread made it seem like a good place to ask tricky questions.
skullturf:
There are some things I like about being a man. One is: I can go into a random bar by myself, and just relax and have a beer, and it's unlikely that anyone will be weird or creepy to me. I mean, it could happen, and once on a rare occasion it does, but the vast majority of the time, it doesn't.
I get to be "neutral". I get to be just "some guy".
Wang Zhuang 1 month ago
Yes, I feel lucky to be a man, because I'm not unfairly ostracized by other men the way women are. I can only imagine how difficult it is to be a woman, to be constantly judged, objectified, etc and made to feel unsafe by creepy or violent men.
#21
What do you do with an unexpected and inappropriate erection?
svhu7ngshbbj:
Tuck it up in my waistband so it's not obvious.
Pawnulabob:
Tense the legs, which requires more blood flow, diverting it from the [private parts].
#22
Do most guys try, at some point, to see if they could suck their own d***s?
Zacchaeusbastardo:
Not most of us, every last one of us has tried it at some point.
#23
Do guys get curious about their friends [private parts]? Do you quietly check them out at the urinal?
Electrical-Bother942:
F**k no. You always leave an empty urinal between you and the bros. You look at the ceiling and don't talk until after you leave the bathroom.
Tim Richards 1 month ago
Not at all. Not even with strangers. That's just really f*****g creepy.
#24
Why are guys so serious about the topic of what a curvy girl is really supposed to look like?
forsayken:
Because the term "curvy" is not interchangeable with "obese" and far too many people think it is.
captainfantastyk:
It's like the difference between body builder muscular. And weight lifter muscular. Hafthor bjornsson (the mountain on game of thrones) is the strongest man in the world. But many wouldn't say he looks muscular compared to say Arnold Schwarzenegger in his prime.
StrangeOne 1 month ago
To me, curvy is having wide hips and big b***s, with a smaller waist diameter, no matter your size.
#25
What's the deal with men loving threeways? I mean why do you think that men want threeways more than women?
twatchops:
Females are hot. We want as many as possible. Foursome would be nice too.
vahntitrio:
Because we aren't genetically that far removed from animals that try to impregnate as many females as physically possible.
#26
How do men deal with break ups differently?? I cry, eat tons of ice cream, and jam sad music, watch heartbreaking movies. Guys just seem to handle them differently.
JustMid:
I think everyone handles it differently regardless of gender.
Koolaidwifebeater:
We get taught not to do that and just kind of force ourselves to be happy or just 'sit out' the sadness untill you don't feel it anymore.
#27
Do you really find the average woman wearing leggings or yoga pants to be hugely distracting and an immediate turn on?
Because the number of times I was told in high school that wearing those pants (aka the most comfy pants on earth) would distract my male peers is just crazy. And I'm not talking "obviously too tight with tons of camel toe like in p**n" leggings, but normal ones.
IHOP007:
Leggings/yogapants make almost anyone's a** and legs look 2x better. I would say a nice bum is distracting, but not immediate b**er material.
That being said, I agree yoga pants and leggings are by far the most comfortable pants ever made and I would wear them all the time if it was socially acceptable for me to do so.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 month ago
Female perspective: Yoga pants might be COMFORTABLE, but the lack of pockets would drive me insane XD
#28
Is queefing a turn off?
Shaggarooney:Not a turn off exactly, but it is hilarious and laughing a lot can take you out of the sexy mood.
Snakedoctor404: No not good or bad... might get a new pet name Queen Laqueefa in the bedroom in good fun.
StrangeOne 1 month ago
Laughing at least eases the embarrassment. I'd rather that then someone making a big, awkward deal about it.
#29
Why draw d***s on everything?
beatokko:
It's an old human tradition. There are [private parts] depictions and sculptures thousands of years old.
The richness of a culture has its roots in traditions.
So there, we'll draw d***s on the bathroom door for the following generations to behold the beauty of reproduction.
The_Juggler17:
Pretty sure it's a primal instinct, a natural and ancient behavior.
When we can't think of anything else, draw d***s on it.
The_Nicest_Misanthrope 1 month ago
People have been drawing d***s on stuff for centuries. Anyone who's been to Pompei can confirm this - d***s everywhere!
#30
Would you feel betrayed if a female faked her orgasm?
Does period blood disgust you?
Do you feel emasculated if your female partner earns more than you?
Bisexual men, what physical differences between men and women do you find appealing?
Do you gossip much with your fellow guy friends?
OutOfNamesToPick:
1. Betrayed is a big word. I'd feel 'betrayed' (for lack of a better word) that you felt it was needed to fake an orgasm. Personally I prefer women to not fake one, I don't really expect one during penetrative s*x. Also, not faking an orgasm gives me a good excuse to give oral.
2. Yes. I don't know what makes it different from normal blood, which I don't find disgusting.
3. No. If you deserve more than me, especially in a society where you generally get paid less for the same job, you probably deserve ot. My identity as a man is not defined by how much I earn. Or how much more I earn than my partner.
4. I'm afraid I can't really answer this. Although if I had to describe things I find appealing on men and not women it would be muscles. Especially shoulder and back muscles.
5. I suppose you could call it gossip, yes. I don't really know how much women gossip, but it happens to sometimes discuss a fellow friend. For instance if they slack off.
Apatheist Account2 1 month ago
The issue with faking is that it makes us think we're doing what you want. If we don't know we're not, there's no reason to change or improve. I'd always want constructive feedback - not demeaning criticism, that helps no-one - so that I can do what you'd like. Fortunately, I have magic fingers :) Coping with period blood is a matter of simple maturity - it's a bit of a surprise the first time if it's unexpected, but one gets used to it (and the timings and symptoms of PMS).
#31
"Is blue balls" a real thing, or just some BS made up by h***y guys to convince their girlfriends to put out?
onetwo3four5:
They don't turn blue, but it can get uncomfortable to be turned on without release. It's certainly not dangerous.
Bored Sailor 1 month ago
Yes but know it is never anyone else's fault, it can happen for various reasons as well not just from getting shutdown. If no or not know is the answer that should stay the answer. The slight uncomforting feeling will pass.
#32
How real is the stereotype of two guys being rivals, getting into a fight and then turning into friends because of it? And if it is real, how/why do men bond over beating each other up?
Zolarack:
I don't like to physically fight people but I do butt heads with my friends a lot. I feel it makes our relationship stronger. Something about arguing with people and still remaining or becoming friends because of it feels good.
Mamie Van Boring 1 month ago
One of the funniest things I have ever seen was two men fighting on ice. Full on swinging for each other. By the end, they were slipping around so much that they had to hold each other up and sort of bonded over it: "You're ok, I've got you mate! You won't slip!"
#33
Why do you act like you're really into a girl and then ghost her?
Shaggarooney:
Because I was really into you, and then you did something that I found to be horrific.
OR
I was really young, and really into you until I had you and then lost all interest because the challenge was gone. Yes, I was that guy for a year or two in my teenage years. I don't know why I was like that, but I was. Weird as think back and some of those girls were really great. I don't know what was going on in my head at the time.
Wang Zhuang 1 month ago
I don't understand guys who do that. I don't believe in ghosting. If I stop talking to somebody, I make sure they know why first.
#34
Do most men enjoy having their balls played with even in a nonsexual context?
mousicle:
I would prefer no touching of the bits or that general area unless you want to get frisky. Blue balls aren't pleasant.
#35
Why are guys cool with the idea of two women having s*x, but two men, you are all like...."aw hell no!"?
ezralv:
because we find women attractive and men gross.
IHOP007:
I think it is because most chicks find they can understand and appreciate the attractiveness and beauty of other women. Guys for the most part don't have the capacity to see other guys that way.
Apatheist Account2 1 month ago
We get aroused by seeing women aroused. Two for the price of one is double the pleasure. We're not aroused by men. It's biological programming.
#36
I've always felt that men were actually far less picky about a woman's weight than we think. Obviously people who are clearly very overweight are one thing, but if a woman doesn't have a flat stomach but otherwise has a nice shape, do you still think she's pretty?
Panigg:
Generally men don't mind as much as women as studies have shown.
Men go for all types of girls more or less equally, while women only go for the "top" 20% of men.
#37
Is s*x the most important thing to you in a relationship? What do you guys find important, when it comes to relationships?
JustMid:
Emotional and physical compatibility. Although I'm pretty picky when it comes to physical looks, I ironically don't really care much about s*x. However, I would want my soulmate to be like a best friend. I think that is the most important to me.
I think the answers you'd get are more about personality rather than gender.
vahntitrio:
S*x and companionship are both going to be important. And like most needs in life, it seems more important when it isn't there (that pasta in the cupboard doesn't seem important in your life until you are hungry). If you are a good companion but never have s*x, he will leave you to find s*x. If you have s*x all the time but are a poor companion, that very same guy could leave to find a better companion.
Tim Richards 1 month ago
No, but a good s*x life is important. I think women need to generally be connected to want s*x, but men connect through s*x. It makes us feel valued and wanted, but both sides need to feel that for it to work well. My wife says thank you for the little things, and I value that more than anything. She's also the kindest person I know, and she's also smart and funny. She's physically very attractive but all of those other things just add to that in a way I really can't explain.
#38
Have you ever gotten your d**k stuck in anything?
thardoc:
Some men have had unfortunate occurrences with zippers, but otherwise this isn't common.
Apatheist Account2 1 month ago
Well, there was that time when the lube got confused with the superglue...
#39
How much of the time when you approach women are you trying to f**k vs genuinely interested in them/ looking for platonic friends?
WeaponsGradeHumanity:
We generally leave that up to the woman. Unless it's someone we've particularly set our sights on, we're happy with either outcome.
anonymous:
if I'm genuinely interested I'm also interested in f**king. As friends? I wouldn't see a stranger in public and approach them for friendship probably ever.
Wang Zhuang 1 month ago
Wow, some of these questions are really making me think about myself hahaha! I would say it depends on the setting. Obviously if I'm in a place where a woman is attractive but she's working in a place (like a cashier, waitress, etc.) or is a colleague of mine, I'm just trying to conduct business so I'm not really trying to hit on her. But I admit that if I see a woman I find really attractive in a bar or social setting, it's somewhat rare that I approach such a woman strictly with friendship in mind.
#40
I never understood how you can sometimes get [hard] out of the blue. Like, just sitting there doing your taxes and oh, no, b***r. is there any real reason for them at all? Like, pressure or friction or something? And how the f**k do you hide it if you're in public?
rootytrackswag:
It's how b***rs work. It works like a valve to let the bloodflow in and inflates the p***s. The way it was explained to me was that the muscle is constantly tightened to keep the blood flow out so when it is relaxed, you get a b***r. That's why you get random b***rs sitting down doing nothing, sleeping, and even sometimes after death. The muscles relax.
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What do you think ?
BeesEelsAndPups 1 month ago
Some where thought provoking, but most were dumb. Do I want to have s*x with my mom? Really? That's the question you have for men?
Load More Replies...
Ace 1 month ago
I'm not sure if I found the answers or the questions themselves most unbelievable. Were none of the posters more than 15 years old, or what?
Gracie Jay 1 month ago
Yep! Was thinking the same thing. I usually like these type articles. This one doesn’t really seem legit though.
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BeesEelsAndPups 1 month ago
Some where thought provoking, but most were dumb. Do I want to have s*x with my mom? Really? That's the question you have for men?
Load More Replies... Ace 1 month ago
I'm not sure if I found the answers or the questions themselves most unbelievable. Were none of the posters more than 15 years old, or what?
Gracie Jay 1 month ago
Yep! Was thinking the same thing. I usually like these type articles. This one doesn’t really seem legit though.
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